I haven’t checked my work email in 10 days. That may not be a big deal to you. I’m a healthcare leader, and we apparently believe there is literally no other method of communication. Plus, I’m OCD about my email; it hurts so bad. Or, at least it did the first three days of vacation. After reading a panic-stricken email from another on day 3 of vacation, sensing I needed to do something, I paused, reaffirmed to myself there were many capable people at work who would be able to handle the situation, and questioned why I was treating myself so poorly. My out of office reply clearly said I would not be checking emails, and there I was, doing the very thing I didn’t want to do. That was the last time I opened my work email. Until today.

Heaven, help me.

I’m practicing positive self-talk and controlled breathing as I get ready to return back to work today.

[Deep breath in, mentally counting 1, 2, 3] You’ve got this. You’ve gone this long without emails; it will be okay if some emails are left at the end of the day. You work with incredible people that kept work functioning; just pick up right where you left off (and slide them all thank you notes).

10 days without work has changed my life. And I am not exaggerating. I took a road trip with my family, strategized board game after board game, played with delight in the Colorado snow until the thin air threatened to choke me out, cooked meals with my sisters, swam in a hot spring with snow all around me, read whatever I wanted to (or didn’t), stayed up late, slept much later that I’d like to admit, drank all the water I was “supposed to” for the day, exercised, napped, laughed until my side hurt, frequently forgot I had a computer and a cell phone, and sat by more fires than I can count.

It was nothing short of magic. Much of the time was pure pleasure in rest – no agenda – just rest.

D.I.V.I.N.E.

I do not know why I deprive myself of this kind of rest, why I overcommit myself. It does nothing but increase my anxiety and negative impact my family.

You know it’s good when three children have been with you for two solid weeks and don’t want you to leave for work. There is no doubt about it – I was burned out upon leaving for my holiday vacation that I’ve had planned for over a year. I was crispy burned.

I feel re-energized to help my team, my organization, my community – and my family. It’s a win-win-win. And, as much as I’d love a perpetual vacation, I actually missed my work and my colleagues. That’s a good, good sign. So, off I go, with a brighter candle and more oil in the lamp.

Burnout is real. Mind your flame, and check your friend’s wick while you’re at it.