My poor, aching teeth have me living as a patient these days – a terribly impatient one at that. Wisdom teeth long overdue to be pulled now have me at their mercy.

I rearranged my weekend plans because of pain. I alternated my medications because of pain. I slept in a weird position because of pain. I became comfortable with the Barbie ice pack because of pain. I dramatically altered my diet because of pain. I called the oral surgeon’s office three times because of pain. I requested an earlier surgery date because of pain.

Awful. Pain.

I never received a phone call back (despite the voicemail ensuring I would within a specified timeframe), thus my need to call three times. And, I was denied an earlier surgery date because the surgery schedule is booked solid. Great.

On the bright side, I did catch my increasing acetaminophen intake and effectively reduced it; I do have plenty of opioids on-hand; and I’m learning lots of fresh juice recipes and of local juice shops. (Sidenote: I seriously heart Austin’s hipster juice retailers.) And with all the time I’m saving not talking to people – because of pain, you guessed it – the oral surgeon’s office may very well receive a telephone voicemail/triage process improvement plan, complete with algorithms, from me. That’s right – my financial payment comes complete – with patient feedback.