My older sister taught me how to accept gifts and compliments during my first job out of high school. I worked as a secretary – yes, secretary – at a church while attending college full-time. My husband – yes, husband (which is a completely different post that I may never actually write) – was the student pastor. It’s laughable now because we were quite young leaders ourselves, which might be why we were in our positions; Lord knows those roles took energy!

With our meager salaries, it was common for people to buy our meals at restaurants or even give us “$100-handshakes” with a wink from a lady to “spend it all on [myself].” I received public praise often for my work, which was nice yet extremely embarrassing for me during that time of my life and personal growth. At first, I declined all these things. How could I accept any gift or praise? When I did accept it, I’d shrug it off or redirect the praise to someone else. Until my sister reprimanded educated me. Thank God for smart siblings!

Essentially, she explained I was robbing both the giver and the receiver of the gift of thanks. By me declining or deflecting the kind words, I devalued myself as well as indicating the giver was wrong in his or her actions. “Just say thank you,” she said, “and enjoy the moment. You can thank others personally. Right now, someone is thanking you.” As much as I wanted to qualify my thanks by adding additional sentiments after “thank you” or “what kind words,” I honored the period at the end of the sentence and cherished the smile or sincerity on the giving party’s face.

It was good advice over a decade ago, and it shaped my career and conversations. I’ve passed on her education many, many times.

Just say thank you.